Christiana Hammond
From Pain to Purpose: Christiana’s Story of Courage, Acceptance, and Peace
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In the heart of Mesa, Arizona, Christiana Hammond dedicates her life to service, working to make her state a place of kindness, acceptance, and peace. Her drive to help those marginalized for being different is rooted in a deeply personal understanding of what it means to live under the weight of unaccepted truths. Christiana knows all too well the years of hiding, shame, and pain that come from society’s rejection—lessons she began learning as early as three years old.
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Growing up in a small town south of Silicon Valley, California, during the 1970s and 80s, Christiana first realized she felt different when she was just a toddler. Everyone around her expected her to be a boy, but she was certain, even at that young age, that she was a girl. When playing dress-up with a friend, Christiana put on girls' clothes and felt a profound rightness. That moment ended swiftly when she was told that "boys don't wear girls' clothes." When she replied confidently that she was a girl, she was sternly corrected. The door to freely expressing her true self closed that day, and she began a long period of hiding and shame, a period that would last decades. The world she grew up in was one of little understanding, where being transgender was met with confusion and scorn.
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When puberty came, it intensified her distress as her body diverged from what she knew inside. Desperation led to a tragic attempt to escape her pain, which in turn brought years of therapy. But still, she couldn’t reveal her hidden truth. In the world of the 1980s, transgender people were ridiculed or demonized in the media, which further fueled her belief that she had to keep hiding.
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In an effort to cope, Christiana tried to chase away her inner turmoil with temporary distractions. She began college but soon left, losing herself in drugs, hoping they would mask the pain. After a near-death experience, she found a renewed desire to live, but believed that living meant she had to change what was “wrong” about her.
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She threw herself into efforts to erase the female consciousness she carried since childhood, taking psychology classes, joining new religions, and even pursuing extreme sports, hoping traditionally masculine pursuits would make her feel male. Yet, none of these efforts could change her deep sense of her own gender, and a dark cloud of despair, shame, and sadness continued to surround her.
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Moving from place to place, she tried to outrun the weight of this cloud. Each new start offered only a brief distraction before the cloud returned, undiminished. Marrying and starting a family brought another temporary reprieve. Although she confided in her then-wife about her struggle, she held onto the hope that she could eventually overcome it. She believed she might somehow contain the depression and shame, preventing it from impacting their life together. She was mistaken.
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Despite having everything that should have brought happiness, the dark cloud only grew heavier, eventually becoming unbearable. She knew she could no longer run; it was time to embrace her true self. Accepting herself meant she needed to be honest with others, beginning with her wife.
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As she began her transition and to reveal her true self more publicly, she found an inner freedom she’d never felt before. For the first time, the dark cloud that had followed her since childhood disappeared. For the first time, she finally felt real happiness, something she never knew. She woke each day with a newfound excitement to embrace life.
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Accepting her true self gave her the strength to give back. She became involved with Equality Arizona, Mesa’s Human Relations Advisory board, and AZTYPO, where she serves on the board of directors. In these roles, she works tirelessly to create a safer, more accepting world for others who need it. Christiana now sees that a single person can truly make a difference, and she finds deep fulfillment in her community service.
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At home, Christiana cherishes the “boring” moments of daily life with her family, including her former wife, with whom she’s maintained a strong bond. Together, they raise their children to be kind, confident, and live life with integrity – values they strive to live as parents. Her kids are growing up in a loving, supportive environment, surrounded by friends and neighbors who embrace their family. Only one of her children’s friends is not allowed to visit Christiana’s home, but she chooses to focus on the acceptance from all the others, knowing that positive change is happening.
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In her downtime, she enjoys playing tennis in a women’s league. While she jokes that tennis isn’t her strongest skill, she relishes the camaraderie she shares with the women there, especially since not all of her friends from her past have accepted her. Her vision is a future Arizona where people of all backgrounds accept each other’s differences, show kindness to each other, and live in peace.
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Christiana Hammond’s journey has transformed her life and the lives of many around her. She has built a life of purpose and community, one based on her hard-won understanding of acceptance, love, and resilience. Through her work, she helps others embrace themselves sooner than she could, paving the way for an Arizona where every person can thrive as their true, authentic self.
